Friday, May 30, 2008

Random facts, hard knowledge

  • Statistics show that people who read this blog are 27% more likely to be intelligent, attractive, or both, than people who buy coffee from Starbucks.
  • Your boss is going to catch you goofing off on the computer in twelve minutes.
  • My gardener has been mowing my lawn on Fridays, even though I told him to do it on Thursdays. Yes, he's Mexican. I prefer to hire Mexicans.
  • If you drink coffee from Starbucks while reading this blog, you could be a future president if only it weren't rigged.
  • Ducks don't have opposable thumbs. Think about that next time you see Donald Duck eating a sandwich.
  • The best music ever was back in 1969. Most of what has come since has been worthwhile only as a harmonic echo of the space time continuum, modulated by a time machine with a bad orthanium crystal.
  • The three coolest years on record in Midland, TX, started when I moved there, and ended when I left. The 100℉ weather in May has resumed. Now do you miss me, hmmm?
  • Mt. Vesuvius is overdue for a major eruption. Book your vacation now.
  • The first inter-racial kiss on American television was on Star Trek. Nobody cared.
  • Sometimes I take pretty good pictures. This is my grandson.

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