A Moving Experience

Four years ago, I promised myself I wouldn't go through the horror of moving again - not for a long time. I also promised myself if I did move, it would never be to a city like Houston, the armpit of the Texas coast. To prove God has a sense of humor, here we are, unpacking in Houston and setting up housekeeping.
One of our worries was how to get our stupid, elderly cat here. The vet said it would be easier on the cat to take her by car, because sedating her for a plane flight would be hard on her at her advanced age - so we planned to take her on Thursday, in a Pet Taxi™, even though she'd be locked in the darn thing for eight hours, probably yowling and complaining the whole way. So Wednesday the movers hauled all those boxes and things and stuff into the moving van, and pulled away. And something happened that we hadn't expected - Pearl, the stupid cat, had stayed awake the entire day due to the excitement. Now, old cats sleep most of the time, in case you didn't know. So we're sitting there in the furniture-free living room floor, eating something on paper plates, and getting ready to inflate a mattress to sleep on, when it occurred to us: the cat must be exhausted. Why, if we were to go ahead and load up the car with the rest of the stuff we didn't want hauled by the movers (plants, the cat's stuff, some other stuff), and shove the cat into the Pet Taxi™ and just go, well, mercy sakes, the cat would likely sleep all the blessed way. Sure, we'd be tired - really tired - but the cat is what matters, right?
So we packed the car, and made sure the house was in order one last time, and shoved the cat into the car. Pearl was not happy, and made that fact clear to us. But off we went, toward Garden City, with the GPS programmed to take the shortest route possible. How brilliant of us! How considerate of us as pet owners! How...
Stupid. About an hour into the trip, both cars were braking constantly, which woke the cat up and started her yowling again, because every square inch of open land between Midland and Austin was crowded with herds of deer. Big deer, little deer, deer grazing just within the reach of the headlights, deer strolling leisurely across the highway, deer carrying signs that said "Go ahead and shoot me, fool, we both know it's against the law." Forty freaking miles per hour. The trip took us eleven hours! Eleven hours of desperately trying to stay awake while the cat is threatening to call the ASPCA, or PETA, or Johnny "I-passed-the-bar-somehow" Cochran.
And to make it worse, the GPS takes it literally that you want the shortest route, and when we got to the Houston area she took us through the back neighborhood streets to save maybe twelve inches of traveling distance. (note to self: always select quickest, not shortest).
It took several days to find the camera and some paper for the printer, and about a third of my office files, but they finally turned up in a box marked "books." We're still looking for two of our three table lamps.
Now, on the positive side. Since we arrived here, we have eaten the best fish tacos ever! We have hi-def on our cable system, on all the network channels. My internet speed is 4.9 megabits, and the cat is even happy - now that she's here and allowed to sleep peacefully.

You do have to make use of the toll roads here, so we got EZ passes for our cars, so we can blow through the toll stations. I'll still avoid driving outside of my little area, but I'll need that pass if any of my friends fly into Hobby and need to get picked up.

It could happen.

And you have to give a little credit to harB - he's been a great little supervisor, checking off all the boxes with their little green stickers as they come in and get put where they belong. We still haven't found box number 160, though. That one's a mystery.

vacation in Vegas, and I'm no Vegan

So GA and I went to Las Vegas for our 25th anniversary. No, that isn't really until the 18th, but on the 18th we're going to be busy trying to get moved into our new home in Houston. In fact, we had planned to take a romantic trip to Hawaii, to see the island that Jurassic Park was filmed on, but we canceled that and instead took a week in the home of organized crime, gambling, topless revues, great overpriced food, and the most shameless waste of electricity in north America.

We stayed in a time share hotel owned by the Hilton folks, located just north of Circus Circus, which is to the rest of the casinos as Odessa is to Midland. We spent some time in Circus Circus simply because of its proximity, and because it's just so irresistibly charming - even if we did have too many teeth to really fit in. The bartender was rude, but I'm pretty sure he didn't spit into the drinks. They have cheap circus acts at intervals throughout the day, mostly high wire and trapeze acts imported from former "Republics" of the Soviet Union. It's free, so the only price is that you have to get your seat early to beat the rush of 23-child families swarming over the creaking bleachers. The best attraction that Circus Circus offers, though, is its indoor amusement park, complete with roller coaster - I think it was called the Canyon Blaster. I don't know if it sets any records for speed, but I can tell you that it's a very short ride, maybe a minute at the most... but it doesn't waste any time picking up speed. After the climb, that thing is double looping and slamming your head against the padding constantly until you screech to a halt and stumble out of the cars to make room for the next victims. It runs fast, and I do mean fast. Yes, we rode it twice.

We took in several shows. We saw "O," which is the water-themed Cirque show. It has all the wonderful acrobatics and grace you expect from those people, plus the amazing fact that they make their entrances underwater. Imagine being in a show where they call "places!" and you draw a deep breath before you wait for your cue.

GA let us go see Jubilee, which is the topless revue. Yes, blog friends, I finally saw my first topless show. And there were the most fabulous costumes, the most spectacular sets, and the most beautiful bre-- er, women you can imagine on that stage. Men, too, though I am sure most or all of them were gay - GA didn't care, they looked great. Yes, they were topless too. Now, I emphasize that we were there for the sake of performance art, and not to see the exposed nipples and skin. That would be so cheap and disgusting, to stare at those soft lovely curves and drool or something. I would never do that. Besides, it was tastefully done.

We even took in a stand-up comedy show. You know, I was afraid I might be a smiler, but all three comedians had me laughing out loud. And the comedy show was actually a freebie, as it turned out. We were in this casino, the Riviera, on the last day, and we figured we'd go find out what our points were worth. I asked what the "Mad Money dollars" were for first, because that kept showing up on the slot display, and the young lady gave me an answer that made no real sense at all. But she told us that we had enough points for a free buffet, a comedy show, and 10% off the second admission on the show. We went for it, of course.

When we got the tickets to the show, we realized that my ticket said "$10 off" instead of "10% off" - and indeed, the price was reduced by a full ten bucks. Well, who am I to complain? We enjoyed the show. Later, we found out that we didn't have nearly enough points for either a buffet or a show, and that Mad Money dollars was part of a promotion for November, and nothing at all what the young lady had told us. Apparently, you can sometimes come out ahead because of problems with English.

As for the slots: we came out roughly even. Most of the time our money slowly drained into the machines, as is normal. But there were several unexpected payoffs which were completely against the odds. The most spectacular was this time - in the Riviera, of course - when we were about to leave to go back to our room, but we had this credit slip worth a few dollars, and we couldn't find a redemption machine nearby. So we picked out a machine called "Valhalla" and fed the slip into it, and pressed 20 lines, one bet per line (20c per spin, in other words). We immediately hit a Bonus, which is something you want to see when playing the slots. The bonus in this case was 15 free spins. And one of the first of those spins hit yet another bonus, so 15 more spins was added to the queue. Before much longer, yet another bonus popped up. We kept sitting there, watching the credits add up, and when it was all over, our 20c spin had turned into $35 and some change! We hit the "collect winnings" button and hiked to the nearest redemption machine.

Another machine, my favorite, was the Reels o' Dublin, which is a spiffy little model that lets you play normal slot action, or you can press the red Hot Hot Penny button and play 30c a spin rather than 20c, and in return you can get extra action in the event of two bonus symbols appearing. In this case, the other three reels get respun, and if you get a third bonus, it goes nuts and starts playing a little Irish jig while you enjoy 15 free spins with double payoff. I usually lost my money in that one, but one time my $20 investment turned into $80 - which, of course I promptly lost again, which is how gambling usually works, and why the Native Americans build casinos when they can.

Now... you're probably wondering if I took advantage of the fact that prostitution is legal in Nevada. Of course I did. And I only charged the going rate.

OK, that last was a joke. But if you like the idea, call BR-549, and have your credit card ready.

Men, Women and the Dating Minefield

I've seen my lady friends (and lady relatives) make mistake after mistake, and when they're about to make those mistakes, it's too late to talk them out of it. Women are emotional creatures, as are men, and as they say, love is blind. So I have to stand helplessly by as they walk blind into the dating minefield.

So I decided to list some warning flags as I see them. Now, understand that these are not all the warning flags you'll ever see - they're merely the most common ones, and the ones that are more or less easy to recognize when you have your eyes open for them. And they are not necessarily hard rules that if broken will result in tragedy. They are merely conditions that should be interpreted as raising the probability that you're headed into a problematic relationship.


Two or more of your friends have a bad feeling about it. This is probably the most reliable warning flag you will ever get. Here is why. Nobody with any sense of self preservation is going to relish telling you that they don't like your new guy. They know it's dangerous to say anything at all; those of us who have made that mistake will avoid making it again. It's just too likely to damage a good friendship, and the odds are so great that it won't slow you down anyway. So if two of your friends work up the nerve to gently suggest that you might want to be careful, that is a huge warning flag, with a siren to boot. You can safely assume that they see something you missed. Again, this does not mean you should break it off immediately - but it does mean you need to step back and think really hard, and really objectively. You should also consider your experience with your friends: have they displayed wisdom in the past? If so, consider all the more what they say.

You met him on the internet through a dating service or chat room. Now, everyone knows about this one, and if you tell any of your friends "Hey, I met this guy on the internet..." you will immediately see a reaction that should throw cold water on your warm cockles. Sure, some people meet on the 'net and find true happiness. But most don't, and there is a reason that internet dating has such a bad reputation. Let's examine that. Obviously, you don't know anything about the other person except what he tells you. And it is well-known that predators lurk in the world wide web, telling you whatever they think you want to hear. There is no reason for them to tell you any negative information about themselves, and in fact they have a strong incentive to lie to you. But here's the big reason: unlike in real life, you don't get to hear outside opinions about a person because you don't know any mutual friends. There's nobody to give you a warning until you already invest yourself in him emotionally. So sure, you could meet Mr. Right on the 'net, but the sheer odds are against it. Use extreme caution.

He seems to be a wonderful match in the things that are important to you - especially religious faith. Now, this could almost be a subset of the above flag on internet dating, but actually it's relevant to real life dating, too. Here's an example. Suppose you're a devout Christian. You're not going to keep that a secret, are you? You're going to make it clear from the start that that's a deal-breaker. Now, you meet a guy, and he not only agrees with your Christian views, he leads with them. Now, this will seem like an odd thing to say, because of course we want to be compatible in our religious beliefs, but when somebody goes to an unusual amount of trouble to convince us of their sincere Christianity, watch out! Hucksters and predators are notorious for using that way of gaining our trust. The bum looking for a handout to buy wine, the salesman trying to get you to invest in some ripoff scheme, the guy selling Bibles in the film Paper Moon, and of course the guy who wants to date or marry you because you have money, or at least a good income. They do this because it works. Faith is a strong emotional tag, and from the predator's standpoint, has the additional benefit of our desire to believe that God is taking care of us. But be careful not to let this flag weaken your faith in God. God will not let you down - people, however, will often let you down. That is why we were told, in Matthew 10:16 -- "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves."

You've been divorced more than once. If you've had two or more divorces in your life, you have my sympathy. Divorce is hard. It's tough. It's damaging. If you've had three or more, something is wrong. Either you're attracting the wrong kind of person, you're attracted to the wrong kind of person, or you're doing something that's in serious error somewhere in the process. You should err on the side of caution - waaaay on the side of caution. I would recommend paying close attention to any clues you may get from your friends or family. Watch for the above flags, and take them very seriously. Get reliable counseling. And for goodness sakes, insist on a long engagement. Be patient.

He's married... for now. This flag is always reliable. If he is a decent person, he will not show any interest in dating while he is still married, no matter how bad the marriage, no matter what he may say about it. I can almost guarantee this: if you cuddle up with such a person, you will find yourself taking his wife's place in more ways than you ever want to, including his stories about what a horrid woman he's stuck with. Ignore this flag at your peril.

Now one more thing. You may think that love is the most important thing in a marriage or dating relationship. The problem is that none of us can accurately gauge "love" when we're in it. It's so hard to define, and it's so easily confused with physical attraction. But there is a quality that any of us can tell when it's there or when it's not there, whether on our part or somebody else's. That quality is respect, and it becomes quite useful when you understand that you cannot have love without respect. Do you sometimes find yourself feeling a mild contempt for this person? Chances are you don't love him. Do you sometimes find that he fails to respect you? Maybe he doesn't love you.

Be careful. Love is a many splendored thing, but it can also be a many splintered thing.

I love it when I do something right

Have you ever had one of those times that you did something on an impulse just because it seemed the right thing to do, and then found confirmation that it was, indeed, the right thing to do?

I recently went to a Christmas party for MCT folks (that's our theatre family), hosted by a semi-crazy MuMmers dude, Phil Tytanic - he's also a mainstay of The Venue and of ManLunch. I always enjoy a chance to hang with my MCT friends, partly because I love them and partly because they are so much sheer fun to be around.

So we had this gift exchange going on, where you draw a number and take turns grabbing gifts from under the tree, and you're allowed to "steal" someone else's gift if it works out. So Cody gets a guitar-playing Elmo (see photo at left). And I could see that Ayden noticed it, and really really wanted it. Ayden is Phil's little boy.

Now, I don't normally care one way or another about getting the gift. The fun is seeing somebody else enjoy the gift that I found for them. It really is more blessed to give than to receive. Getting stuff is really not that hard, and is its own reward, which is comparatively small. So I checked to see if Cody would be OK with it (his little baby twins have no use for it), and I stole his Elmo, so I could give it to Ayden when the time was right. I was lucky; nobody stole it from me. And I was pleased to see how happy it made him, though he was about to fall asleep. Not really a big deal, but I love to see little kids happy.

So a few days later, Phil made this video as his Christmas card. And I learned that Ayden played with his new Elmo the next day, for the longest time. So I did the right thing, and it turned out to be a wonderful thing.

Add that to the fact that no less than three of my girlfriends have had new babies, including a set of twins, and I got to hold them all in the last few days, and this is shaping up to be the best Christmas ever. I love babies...

You are looking at the bottom of a very long formation set above Longfellow's Bathtub in Carlsbad Cavern, toward the end of the Big Room tour, shortly after Rock of Ages. The Cave Research Foundation completed a project last year that has been underway for ten years, cleaning the mud and silt from the bottom of this pool. We took advantage of the unusually dry state of the cave (which has lasted well over a decade) to painstakingly transfer water to a dry pool, remove mud, and move it back by the end of each long holiday weekend we spent in the cave. The results have been spectacular; if you could see the before and after shots, you would agree.

Thanksgiving weekend we worked on the Red Pools area (which will now have to be renamed, or they will when we finish removing the red clay that has discolored them). But while we were working, we checked the Bathtub to see how it looks. It has begun refilling! The shiny look of the flowstone tells you that it is active and wet. The pool is being dripped in, and the water level is already several inches higher than it was. And that wall has been dry for about thirty years - I last saw that wall wet that long ago.

We got it done just in time. It is now too deep to transfer enough water to nearby pools.

This morning in the sky

OK, that was freaking awesome!
We went outside at six, and of course there was the crescent moon hanging low in the sky, with Venus shining brightly to its immediate left. Above them a little ways was Saturn, as expected, and Mars was much farther up than I expected - almost directly overhead. Directly opposite the moon (spin around with those binoculars), but much higher in the sky, we saw the fuzzy ball of light that was Comet Holmes, the comet that exploded October 23.

Then, at 6:20, we started watching for the space shuttle and the International Space Station, which would be rising just about... oh, darn, right behind that huge tree. Well, wait for it. At 6:23, they popped out from behind the tree, shining brighter than Venus, one following the other. The larger and brighter of the two lights was in front, probably the ISS. They were almost directly overhead Andrews to the northwest, but high enough in the sky to be spectacular, without having to strain our necks!

We didn't see anything from the Southern Taurid meteor shower, which peaked today, but we didn't really expect to. That one produces about five meteors an hour if you're lucky - though those do tend to be really special as meteors go - and I'm not quite that patient.

It almost makes the Ron Paul money bomb pale in significance, but I'll enjoy that, too!

If any of you got up to see any of these wonderful things, post a comment here, would you?

Sky stuff

Get up early for some neat stuff in the sky, tomorrow morning, November 5. In the east, you should see a crescent moon, with Venus to its left shining brightly. Above them will be Saturn, and above Saturn, Mars. In the western sky, look for a soft fuzzy ball of light about half the size of the moon in appearance. That's a comet that exploded October 23, and it's expanding as it moves away from us. All you need to make it complete is a spaceship or two to go by - and we have that, too. The International Space Station and a Space shuttle will be flying overhead and lit by the morning sun before it rises for us, rising from the southwest and flying toward the northeast. It should appear at 6:20 am and go out of sight at about 6:25