The Obauguration

I am already sick of this new administration, and The One™ hasn't even been sworn in yet.

Is it really necessary for NBC to run stories about the inauguration with inspiring music on the soundtrack? How many times are we going to be told that this signifies the end of racism in America? How many times are we going to be told, in so many subtle ways, that everything is different now, that Obama will change everything, turn this country around, bla bla bla?

Turn what around? The economy? Here's the deal with the economy.

For decades, I can remember economists and commentators warning us that we had to go back to being financially responsible in this country. You can't keep buying on credit, they said, on a national basis anymore than you can in a household. Sooner or later you have to start paying it all back, and longer you put it off, the more it's going to hurt.

After a decade or so of these warnings, which I had heard since a tow headed boy in the 50's, they began warning that we were putting off the payback for our children to deal with - that we were spending our children's future. That would be me they were talking about.

Eventually my generation grew up and took over. And we did the same thing. There were still voices among us, still giving that warning, just as there were with the WW2 generation. Soon they were warning that we were postponing the problem for our children to deal with, and that it was going to be much worse the longer we put off re-payment.

And it has continued until this day. Congress after Congress, president after president of both corrupt parties, spending to keep in office, and letting the Fed print more paper money each time the economy slows down. Let me explain that. It does work to print more money and spend it when the economy slows down. It works just like an injection of amphetamines. But you're supposed to then remove the drugs once the economy kicks in - you allow it to slow back down, rather than let it keep roaring. So the economy has been growing in spurts and leaps, much like the blob in those old horror movies.

And the debt has been growing, too - it's kind of a double whammy, with increased debt and dollars worth less and less. And the generations after mine, generation x or y or whatever Time magazine has been calling them, has been hoping - no, assuming - that they can simply pass the bill on down to their children, just as we passed it down to them.

Well, that monster of a credit card bill is now due. The bill, with a row of zeroes that won't even fit on the page, has been delivered to us all, now, now, now - not next decade, but now. And the Bush administration has been kiting checks, printing more money, borrowing money from China, and generally looking for revenue under the seat cushions.

Now comes Obama, The One™. He, peace be upon him, is going to Change things. We have Hope. With a soundtrack of love and racial equality and little bunny rabbits, he is going to turn this country around. What is he going to do to accomplish that?

Well, he hasn't really given us a lot of details, and the press, the Guardian of our Liberty and our Right to Know, hasn't really asked. In fact, they have ridiculed anyone who has tried to ask in order to make sure he got elected, and they have failed in their duty, but then they have been failing in that duty for a very long time. In the few proposals he has hinted at, and in his campaign rhetoric, it appears to be a simple matter of Income Redistribution, spreading the wealth, "asking" the rich to pay their "fair share" whatever that may be - or else.

But there is a problem with that - a big one. Oh, I know it has been working for the last forty years, but remember that the bill is now due - the Big One. The credit card company from hell is now demanding at least the minimum payment, which I assure you is a hefty amount. The Bush administration has been balancing on the high wire for some time. Let's sit down at the kitchen table with the family and see what our options are.

Raise taxes? We could do that, but the result will be an immediate crashing of the economy, or what's left of it. You may hear the talk about the rich paying more taxes, but the numbers won't support it. There aren't enough rich people out there, so you would have to tax them at nearly 100% to make any difference at all. No, the big bucks from the few won't do it - the numbers only add up when you raise taxes on the many, meaning you and me, the families, the working class. But when they do that, we have to spend less. And that in turn hurts the big corporations, and they have to lay people off, and there you go.

By the way, the real reason for all these bailouts? Those are because the two parties owe favors to the big corporations, and they intend to get theirs before it all falls down for the rest of us. There is no other reason for doing what they have done.

So... borrow more money from other countries? No can do. That barrel has been completely tapped. It's empty and dry, throw it in the alley behind the bar.

Print even more money? He might try that. But every nation that has done that has found itself experiencing hyper-inflation, that curious economic state where you take your grocery money to the store in a wheelbarrow, and try to spend it before it loses its value again. They've done all of that they can afford to do, too.

Stop spending? Obama isn't going to do that if he can help it. But maybe he can't help it. When the credit card company won't raise the ceiling anymore, can't raise it anymore, and when you can't even pay the minimum balance, and nobody will issue you another card.... it's over. You have to stop spending like a drunken fool, and then you have to make payments and get nothing fun in return - just like real people.

He could do what Ron Paul tried to get us to do last year: pull in the military and stop being the world's policeman. Obama will almost certainly have to do that, and if so, we will stop interfering with the internal affairs of other nations simply because we no longer can. Don't be shocked - this is precisely how we won the cold war. The Soviet Union could no longer afford to spend money on its military excursions, and they pulled the troops home. We may have to do the same, and this is very likely what Mr. Obama will do, if only because military spending is such a huge part of our budget. Budget? As if we have been following a "budget."

But in any case, The One will not be able to fulfill all those promises, because the money is gone, and the credit is gone, and the eBay closet is empty. The Bush administration spent it all. I guess they misunderestimated him again, ha ha.

He will either bring the military home and close those foreign bases all over Europe and Asia... or he will institute military rule, and abandon the pretense that we are self governed. If he does the latter, it will be appropriate that he has been compared to Lincoln so often during his campaign, only it won't just be the South that is crushed this time.

I hope he chooses the former. If he does, he may yet have something to brag about after he retires a gray haired old man in eight years.

Staying the Course

I'm still actually using the BodySolid™ machine in our exercise room. Yeah, you thought we would pay big bucks for it, spend a week putting it together, and then use it for a coat rack, didn't you? Nope, I worked out on it this morning for 30 minutes.

Some days I just walk for 80 minutes, especially now that I discovered I can walk atop the levee just outside our back gate, even though it isn't officially a walking trail, and even though the levee has a little sign way on the west end telling us to stay off it unless we are authorized. The maintenance guys drive on the darn thing, so I think I can walk on it without damaging it. Incidentally, I plan to run for village rep next election. I want to push them to extend the trail down to our neighborhood, and I bet they put the trail right on top of the very same levee that we aren't allowed to walk on without authorization. Maybe someday I will drive my Chevy to the levee, and see if it is dry. But I digress.

Other days I do both. I walk for my 70 minutes, and then spend a little time doing light stuff on the BodySolid™ machine since I'm a sweaty mess anyway.



So this morning, I'm working out on the machine thing, and listening to another Stephen King short story on my current audio book, which happens to be his latest collection, on sale now at your favorite bookstore. Today's story is A Very Tight Place, which started out nicely enough, but then - no, I'd better not tell you. It might ruin the story for you. Let's just say it involves being trapped in a porta potty.


And the situation is described in graphic detail. This poor guy has to find a way to escape his little private privy prison somehow. Will it involve climbing through the obvious escape route?




Read it yourself to find out.

And somehow I think Rate A Bathroom should link to this article, but I suppose that might be silly.

A Real Good Day

Today was a real good day.

GA and I went to see "White Christmas" at the Theatre Under the Stars, or TUTS, a non-profit but professional theatre. It's one of GA's favorite Christmas movies, so she has wanted to see the stage production ever since she saw it announced when we moved here. It's very nice, and at the end, they have it snow on the entire audience during the finale and final bows. As an extra blessing, the three seats directly between us and the stage were empty - no-shows. So we had a clear view of the entire show.

On the way home, I discovered that hwy 288, which is convenient to our house, makes a direct connection to Interstate 45, which goes north to Dallas. This will mean a shorter, more convenient trip to Wichita Falls when I go to visit family and friends.

We got back to the plantation just in time to swing by the amphitheater to see the living nativity, which turned out to actually be more of a Christmas pageant with live animals, as the actors moved from place to place as the Christmas story from Luke was read, and carols were sung. They had sheep, goats and a very stubborn donkey led around among the angels and heavenly host and wise men and so forth - sorry, no lobster at this production - and this little boy spent the entire performance dancing around and tossing his little shepherd hat up in the air and fetching it, and falling down and rolling in the grass. The donkey, who was constantly fighting Joseph about where he was supposed to be - you know how actors can be - decided to poop right in front of the bales of hay. And here came the little boy, tossing his hat, and rolling around in the grass... and into the donkey poop. He kept right on dancing and tossing his hat.

After the nativity, we drove to some of the wealthier neighborhoods to see how they had decorated, and many of the lights were brightly and tastefully done. One house, though, reminded me of the house in Deck the Halls: not only could you see it from space, I bet people who saw the satellite image were asking which bright spot was Houston.

Sometimes I really like living here.

Brilliant criminals

Crime is low in our area, especially given that we're near Houston.

But when we do have crime, it's at least entertaining. I have to share the latest one, which was in Missouri City. This guy stole a GPS out of somebody's car. He then sold it to a pawn shop. But before he sold it, he entered his own address to try it out. Yep it took him right to his own house alright.

It also took the police there, because he didn't bother deleting his address before he sold it.

As Bugs Bunny used to say, what a maroon.

you're tagged, maybe

Here are the directions: Just go to your 6th photo folder on your computer (or external hard drive, or memory card - pick one!), post the 6th photo, and hope you can remember the details to share them. Then tag 5 others.



This is the courtyard at the Hotel Ancira in Bustamante, NL, Mexico.
The car is a diesel Oldsmobile, which we drove to Mexico to visit the cave there.
I love that place.

I tag the first five bloggers to see this.
Acknowledge that you were tagged by leaving a comment with the url to your response.

Whoa

OK, that was weird.

We were watching this movie, The Bucket List, and the credits had just rolled at the end.

The lights went out at 8:37 pm, and then came back on two seconds later, and then our front door blew open.

So if either or both of us dies in our sleep tonight, you'll have a cool story to tell at the funeral.

Life is a box of chocolates, after the coupon

I just read a short blog about what two of my grandchildren did. Go read it. I'll wait here for you.

Now that's the quality I love in people everywhere - I love it when kids or grownups (but especially kids) do something different and original.

But this blog will intentionally be rambling and random. You know you love it.

This past week I went to visit my best friends in the whole world, back in my old hometown of Wichita Falls. It was a short visit, centered around seeing the play that they are both in, Move Over Mrs. Markham, which is a British farce, only they Americanized it because most of the cast wasn't able to handle the accent. I found it most enjoyable (and it is still playing to sold out audiences), and all the more so since I played Mr. Markham in that play and in that same theatre many years ago, when I still had dark hair.

While there, I met their new outside cat, named Princess, who looks and acts so much like a cat I used to have that I couldn't help but pet it and coo at it.

We watched a movie together (not with the cat, but with the family) - "21," which is about some MIT guys doing a card counting thing in Las Vegas and making tons of money. There is a scene where the professor is explaining to the class about probabilities and how change affects them. So he describes a game show where you're supposed to choose the best door out of three. A student chooses door number 1. Now the professor reminds the class that the odds are 33.3 percent that he has chosen the correct door, but - now the game show host reveals that door number 3 is not the best door, and is therefor out of the equation. Would he like to change his mind?

The student says yes, and now he goes for door number 2, because its probability is now - I forget the percentage, but it is higher than the obvious 50%. And the professor agrees, and praises him, and now wants him to go be a card counter in Vegas. And I'm all like "what???"

I was willing to agree that there are probably some mathematical principles that are way beyond me - I know that there are other dimensions besides the four that are obvious to us - but this was nonsense, or so it seemed to me, and still does.

Suppose you have the same scenario, only this time you have two students participating. One chooses door 1, the other chooses door 2. The game show host takes door 3 out of the equation, as before. Do the two students now switch doors, because each door is now greater than 50% likely to be the correct door? I would love for someone to explain to me how 1 out of 2 can possibly be anything but 50%.

But back to the family of my friends. One of their daughters is almost certain to be a semi-finalist merit scholar or whatever you call that, which doesn't really surprise me because she is so brilliant. Both daughters are, of course, incredibly smart and visually attractive in the bargain.

After the show Thursday night, the plan was to hit the backyard hot tub, so as to enjoy the near freezing temperatures and high winds that Wichita Falls was providing for us. But the female half of the partnership had to back out due to work interfering - honest - and that would have left two guys in the hot tub, and that would have been too... you know. The G word.

It was probably all for the best, since I was getting sleepy already and I had to leave early the next morning for my long drive back to Houston.

I wonder if my life would have been any different if either of my two brothers had been creative enough to want to sell me on a treadmill while playing store?

****

Update... OK, a computer geek in Midland explained it to me, though it wasn't clear in the movie. The game show host can't open your door, whether it's wrong or right. So if you have the correct door already, he has two doors to choose from. If you have the wrong door, however, he can only choose one door to open.

So your choice being wrong or right affects the door he opens, which in turn slightly affects the odds of your door being right.