Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Über-Tacky

GA and I went to our favorite little tacky seafood restaurant last night. They brought tacky to a whole new level.


The ad you can't quite see, just above the tattoo parlor ad, is for a DWI attorney.
I tell you, this is fine dining.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Cruise 2009 part 4 (Days at Sea)

As much fun as the ports of call are, the best part of a transatlantic cruise is the long stretch of sailing on the open seas with no land in sight, and nothing to get off the ship for.

And the best part of a typical day at sea is the formal or semi-formal dining - in this case, on deck three in the Romeo and Juliet dining room:


harB waits for the lovely hostess to come put the napkin in his lap. Photo by Wm.

It's a chance to be pampered, in a way that you cannot remotely expect back at home, no matter how attentive your spouse may try to be. After being seated, the lovely hostess comes by and places your napkin in your lap for you. That's the only reason for the first plate to be there - to hold that little napkin in place in anticipation of your arrival. The ladies are then presented with formal little menus, so they can choose an appetizer or two, and the main course as well. (Dessert comes later). Men get their menus soon after.

Appetizers can be anything from salads to cold fruit soups to escargot. Yes, I said snails, drenched in garlic butter. And yes, it's delicious - but kids, don't try this at home.

Anneline, our attentive and skilled server, made sure that every meal we had in that room was better than the one before. We made sure that harB took it easy at dessert time, but you know how hard it is for him to resist a good chocolate.



A triple chocolate dessert, with dark chocolate, milk chocolate, and white chocolate all on the same tray. Photo by GA.

Between meals, there are endless activities, scattered among the various rooms and decks on the ship. Here is harB, watching the fun from the arms of one of the decorations on the hallway into the Pyramid Lounge, where many of the best activities are held:


Photo by Wm

Some of my favorite activities are:

  • Karaoke - this is done in a lounge set aside for just that, complete with its own bar, several TV monitors so you can see the words whichever way you want to face, and plenty of songs to choose from. On special occasions, they even have a live band to play behind you. Try that in a bowling alley.
  • Trivia - I didn't even try to do that this cruise, because some of those players take it too seriously. They will argue and fight over the precise meaning of the question or answer in the attempt to score one more crappy keychain.
  • Seminars - I mentioned before that they had a guy teaching about digital photography, but there was also a former Los Angeles District Attorney, who gave us the inside scoop on such cases as the Manson murders, the assassination of Robert Kennedy, the Marilyn Monroe case, and others. This was way interesting, and very informative, since he was able to show us evidence that he wasn't allowed to introduce into trials and press conferences. As a result of one of these seminars, I am now convinced that Norma Jean was not only murdered, but that it was done on behalf of the Kennedy family. Just my opinion, of course.
  • Ice shows - Great skaters from all over the world show off on the ice rink in one of the lower decks. Jennifer from Russia was especially amazing. These shows were so popular that they had to issue tickets given out early in the morning.
  • Theatre entertainment - these included Broadway style revues, singers, and a very good hypnotist. The broadway style shows were better than any I have ever seen, which may have something to do with the size of the ship and the number of passengers.

And I have to tell you about the hypnotist. Now, I'm not going to take a position on whether hypnotism is fake or just a show or if it's real. I don't know. But this guy was good. His main show was very entertaining, and he's billed as the world's fastest hypnotist. Apparently, he's well-known in England, though he was new to me.

He got about forty volunteers from the audience, started to work on them, and I suppose he was looking for some subtle sign telling him if they were going to go under faster or at all, or if they were going to try to fake him out. He got rid of any who had been drinking immediately, and then pulled those who weren't going to be fast enough, and kept the best eight or so. Other than the speed at which he got the show going, I guess it was pretty standard stuff... except that he arranged an unscheduled, midnight performance for those who were young enough to stay awake that late. This one was an "adult" performance, with no kids allowed. Now this one was definitely not your normal hypmotize show. I won't go into details, but it was bizarre and incredibly funny.

Now I find that I cannot remember his name. I wonder if he... no, surely not.

Bottom line: if you want the best value for your vacation dollar, I recommend a repositioning cruise with Royal Caribbean cruise lines, and extend the vacation with a couple of days in a hotel at the other end of the cruise. You can't go wrong with Spain or England.

Thank you for reading these blogs, assuming you stayed with me this far. Leave a comment and let me know if you liked it.
 
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